Hey, guys. Long time no blog. I'd love to say it's because I've been working at my former breakneck speeds, juggling a dozen different projects, but the truth is I've struggled to face you. I don't have anything worth sharing these days. It's been months since I even opened one of my WIPs.

I know. Most authors will admit they've had lulls in creativity, days when their inspiration and motivation refuse to cooperate. They remedy it by pushing through. Butt in chair, hands on keyboard, as the saying goes. Real writers write every day.

Until they don't.

Other authors share their struggles with the publishing side of things. No matter how much time, money, and effort they've put into getting their work out there, they still haven't seen a return on their investments. Day after day, everything in them screams to let this pipe dream go--but they don't. They can't. They won't!

Why?

Marketing is my realm of expertise, but even I'm ready to throw in the towel. Luck is the oh-so-crucial element no one in this industry wants to acknowledge, because doing so would mean accepting the sad lack of control we have over our careers these days. Sure, I have the know-how to make your advertisements convert. I could walk you through a dozen content offerings to make readers come to your site. But when it comes to my own work?

Nothing. It's. Just. Not. There. 

Why? Because:

5. Depression is irrational.
Though my life isn't quite what I'd imagined it would be, I have much to be thankful for. I count my blessings each and every day... and then I accept the guilt that comes with them. After all, there are others who have it far worse than I do. What right do I have to be discouraged?

4. Depression is relentless.
I have periods of normalcy. Sometimes my hormones level out and I feel like myself, but it's always temporary. As soon as I start to underestimate my opponent, as soon as I write off my depression as a phase, it makes its presence known in new and crushing ways.

3. Depression is dangerous.
Often times, it lies below the surface in wait. It'll lurk there for days, weeks--sometimes even months--before it tries to pull me under. Ever see a crocodile do a death roll on one of those nature shows? It latches on, and there's no stopping it. You hit the bottom before you even realize you're headed down.

2. Depression is tiring.
Sometimes I don't want to get out of bed in the morning. Actually, if my dog didn't wake me up with a list of demands--and I didn't adore my clients—I might not. Depression can drain you to the point you lack the will to do anything.

1. Depression is real
There will always be people who scoff at the word "depression," rattling off a list of ways to get over it. Medicine, counseling, herbs, and oils--I don't care what you try, there's no quick fix. It's an every day struggle and an every day choice. But you know what? I'm tired of playing defense.

I picked up a copy of FERVENT: A Woman's Battle Plan to Serious, Specific and Strategic Prayer by Priscilla Shirer (affiliate link), and it's changing the way I look at my situation. It's a powerful read, but written in such a conversational tone that I lost myself in its pages. 

I never speak of religion (or politics) on this blog, but if any of this post resonated with you, you might consider giving the book a chance. I did, and I like to believe it's helping. I'll keep you posted.

How have you (really) been?

Purpose: To share and encourage. Writers can express doubts and concerns without fear of appearing foolish or weak. Those who have been through the fire can offer assistance and guidance. It’s a safe haven for insecure writers of all kinds!

Posting: The first Wednesday of every month is officially Insecure Writer’s Support Group day. Post your thoughts on your own blog. Talk about your doubts and the fears you have conquered. Discuss your struggles and triumphs. Offer a word of encouragement for others who are struggling. Visit others in the group and connect with your fellow writer - aim for a dozen new people each time.

(Click here for an update on the blog / comment system situation.)

This month’s insecurity: The consequences of impatience.

As most of you know, Tucker--my beloved dog and personal assistant--had to have surgery a few months back. It cost thousands of dollars I didn’t have, so I had to push up the timeline of my next release (As We Know It). Everything would have been ready in time regardless; it’s just that December is a notoriously bad month for sales. (Consumer money is often tied up in holiday expenses, and festivities leave little time for reading.)

I knew this, yet I plowed forward.

Reviewers were sent ARCs, a few advertisements were lined up, and my Thunderclap succeeded in getting its 100 supporters to post on the 12th. (Thanks for that, by the way!) Things were looking great, all things considered. Plus, with this being my best book to date, I figured I could leverage word-of-mouth while people were surrounded by family and friends. Then I could pay off Tuck’s surgery sooner rather than later and move on to the next project.

It seemed like a good plan; it wasn’t.

While the book was well received in terms of reviews, sales were crap on a stick. Things might pick up in the New Year, but I sacrificed that oh-so-crucial early momentum to gain visibility in the long term. Why? Because I ignored my better judgment (a.k.a. the marketing side of my brain) and mixed business with my personal life. I knew better, and I did it anyway.

Long story short, don’t be me. Have patience when publishing. Don’t let your personal life influence your business. And for the love of all that is right in this world, don’t publish a standalone in December! LOL

Do you have a writing/publishing regret that stands out in your memory?